From the Stoop-Feb2013

There go Mr. and Mrs. Olsinic. Her hand neatly tucked into the crook of his elbow as she listened intently to the second hand news he was explaining to her in some unrecognizable accent. She listened and as she always did assured him that things would get better. They ever so slowly fade into the dusk as they made their way to the pub for their Saturday after dinner ale. A ritual that marked the end of another week as it had for the last 63 years.

Is there anything wrong with familiarity and simplicity in life? Does it need to present challenges in all aspects or is it ok to just be comfortable in some? I find it very difficult sometimes to comprehend the flippant way that people, media and western society treat relationships. I find it impossible to believe that love has a stale date or those relationships, whether it is a marriage or otherwise, begin with a trial period implied. What even puzzles me more is that anyone could enter into a lifelong commitment with the signing of a pre-nuptial agreement that assumes it will end. And end bitterly from a financial perspective.

Are the reasons people break up valid? Do they lack the ability to judge character or do they really not know their chosen partner before committing? Is that commitment genuine? Do we not welcome change and growth in an individual and do we not also want to grow and change?
I am certainly not ignorant to the fact that people change negatively and that abuse happens. Any one would be a fool to say that after violence raises it’s ugly head that one should “put up with it”.

The American legal community list the top reasons for divorce as follows:

1. Desire to be independent.
2. Getting attracted to another person.
3. Infidelity.
4. Physical incompatibility.
5. Less attracted to the person in a sexual way.
6. Lack of proper body maintenance, like becoming too fat.
7. Conflict in tastes and desires.
8. Continuous nagging.
9. Comparing the man or woman to others constantly
10. Imparting unsolicited advice all the time
11. Addiction to alcohol or drugs
12. Deterioration in the health of one spouse or suffering from incurable ailments like HIV
13. Physical and mental abuse and exhibiting sadistic tendencies
14. Ignoring or showing disrespect to friends and relatives of one spouse
15. Impotency or inability to bear children.

Now I am even more confused if these are the top reasons that someone can walk into a lawyer’s office and say I want a divorce because…

I take solace in the good stories, the lasting relationships and the ability of some to actually enjoy watching someone grow and change. I would be upset, I think, with someone who was still the same woman or man their partners fell in love with. We grow and so should our appreciation of our partner. I feel bad for those who gave it their all and it just couldn’t work. I can’t understand those who actually have a stale date.
Love the one you are with because when you chose him or her they were the best and the one and only for you. Hold them close and reaffirm your devotion. It really does not get any better than that.

Have you proven that longevity is possible? Leave a comment, I would love to hear your story of how you managed.