Inclusion Infusions: Respect and Personal Space

Posted on Friday, October 18th, 2019

Pop Quiz – What do these pictures have in common?

If you guessed they all depict different aspects that inform preference for personal space – you get an A! If not, read on for more info.

Personal space — how close we stand to and how we position ourselves next to our colleagues, our friends, strangers — varies widely between countries, and gender matters too. Sociologists have studied the whys and how’s, and they’ve come up with some theories about why these social norms exist. And there is specific etiquette when it comes to people with disabilities and mobility devices.

To understand how culture defines our preferences for appropriate personal space, we will turn to the work of Sorokowska et. Al (2017) published in the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology. In this study, researchers looked at 9,000 people in 42 countries to understand exactly how personal space is defined. I’ve borrowed this great graphic from the Washington Post that depicts their findings. Argentina has a preference for “close-talkers” – people who stand 2.5 feet away from strangers when chatting. If this sounds uncomfortably close, you might be more at ease with the cultural norms in Romania – there, residents like to stand a spacious 4.5 feet away from strangers. Pay attention to the subtle movement of others closer to you or further away, and ask yourself if you are doing a ‘cultural dance’.

But, as with everything in the Diversity and Inclusion realm, its not quite as simple as explaining everything through only one lens. Gender plays a role in how you prefer to position yourself in a conversation. The work of Deborah Tannen revealed that in conversation every age, the girls and women faced each other directly, their eyes anchored on each other’s faces. And conversely, at every age, the boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room, periodically glancing at each other. Look around you this week to see if you can observe this phenomenon.

Lastly, I read a powerful article from the BBC this week entitled ‘Spikes – and other ways disabled people combat unwanted touching’. In it a Canadian women recounts her experiences being touched or grabbed by a stranger without warning or consent – which is still an all too-common experience for many people who use mobility devices. Although people believe they’re being helpful with their actions, an invasion of personal body space can be frightening. It was a great reminder of respect and etiquette for people who use mobility devices. If you are having a conversation with a person who uses a wheelchair, if at all possible put yourself at the person’s eye level. If you are not able to, that’s ok. Never lean on or touch a person’s wheelchair or any other assistive device. A person’s assistive device is part of the person’s personal space, and it is jarring or disturbing for anyone to have his or personal space invaded. To learn more check out this EARN tipsheet on effective communication for people with disabilities.

As always, I’m happy to talk about any of this, probably looking directly at you a comfortable 3.1 to 2.3 feet apart.

• Posted in
• Uncategorized