How to Deal with People You Don’t Like in the Workplace
Posted on Thursday, October 5th, 2017
We’ve all been there—there’s someone at work who, despite your best intentions, you just don’t like. The little things they do annoy you, the way they talk annoys you, the way they do their work annoys you. There’s nothing particularly awful about them, but you simply just don’t like them.
That’s natural—no one likes everyone. In your personal life, you can usually move away from people you don’t like, but in a professional environment you’re often forced to work with the person—whether on a project together, or even just in passing conversation in the office.
Learning how to manage difficult people is an important skill. Once you’re comfortable navigating these kinds of relationships, you’ll be in a position to better handle whatever kind of personalities the work environment throws at you.
Remember that it isn’t about you.
When you don’t like someone—like, really don’t like them—it can start to feel like everything single they do is designed to specifically target and aggravate you. But it’s important to remember that, unless you’re working with someone who is truly manipulative, their actions have nothing to do with you.
Your best course of action is to depersonalize the situation. You don’t like this person, and that’s probably not going to change any time soon. But the reality is that their behaviours aren’t about you, and so your responsibility is to get to a place where what they do and say doesn’t impact you.
Of course, if their actions and behaviours are aggressive, inappropriate, or impeding your ability to do your job, then that’s a different situation—one for your managers and/or HR to address. But if it’s a situation where they’re just annoying you, then it’s up to you to find a way to deal with it.
That’s really hard to do, but once you understand that it isn’t about you, it becomes easier to move on. It’s nothing personal.
Don’t make the situation worse.
Being expected to work with someone you don’t like is bad enough. It’s an extra aggravation in a busy day, and can make completing projects trickier than it would otherwise be. But there’s one thing that could really make the situation worse—gossip.
It can start innocently—you mention to a work friend that you don’t like a particular person. But then they mention to their work friend that you don’t like that person, and soon the gossip is everywhere and the person you don’t like finds out. And if the situation was tough before, it’s only going to be tougher now.
Gossip exists in every workplace. But keeping out of it—and doing what you can to make sure you’re not the subject of it—is an important lesson, especially as a young professional.
Stay clear of gossip, and you won’t be making the situation worse.
Choose what to pursue and what to let go.
Sometimes, the situation may start to become unmanageable. You may feel a confrontation brewing, and that may mean it’s time to address the problem. Usually these situations need to be addressed if the person’s behaviour is starting to affect your work—things like following through on emails or being late to meetings (bigger issues might mean bringing in your supervisor). And, as mentioned earlier, if their behaviour is making you uncomfortable, then that is definitely something to talk to your supervisor about.
But, sometimes, you just need to let it go. Pick your battles. Remember that it’s not about you, and move on. If it’s a passing issue that will resolve itself, your energy very well may be better used elsewhere.
Dealing with difficult personalities in the workplace is a challenge, but isn’t impossible. It takes some emotional intelligence and discipline on your part, but with patience it’s a skill you can achieve.
If you would like to learn more about the Algonquin College co-op program, please visit our website at https://www.algonquincollege.com/coop/, connect with us at coop@algonquincollege.com or call us at 613-727-4723 Ext.7623. You can also follow us on Twitter @AlgonquinCoop.
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